A legal crime

Once the whole life seemed dark and hopeless, Tears filled the floor, He took his cigarettes out and start to light them one by one, He tried to figure out why all of this happened, So he asked himself why am i even here? No answer. The silent echo spared all around his cold body, “I need to do something about it” He kept repeating loudly, The fact of all of these mistakes was made by his own hands left a sharp knife in his heart, Suddenly his tears stopped, His eyes dried out, He kept looking down with the idea of hurting himself, To see blood or the flames of  fire was not the matter, He just wanted the pain to flow in his nerves, “Hurting myself will do nothing put make me regret, I need a solution” he whispered softly, Everyone left him and no one will ever put more energy and help him out or even waste more time talking and giving tips to the “lost boy” as they named him, This heavy and inescapable responsibility that he carried on his shoulder was hardest sense he ever felt.

With the clear rain from the grey clouds, And his head down, Time stopped and his stuck at this moment he sat down by the bench and closed his eyes, Voices start to scream, But it was something special with them, Distorted shouts kept on taunting that it was his fault and he needed to be judged, He looked at the sky and begged god for help, But even he didn’t answer.

Brokenness and loneliness made him in need to escape the reality so he ran, Ran and ran until he reached his room, To the first mirror he stopped and looked back, He saw an unrecognizable criminal, The hardest was that he could see the shame inside him, Giving the glass a couple of punches was helpless, He tried to sit down and gather his shattered pieces to rebuild the broken him but it was pointless, It was too late.

He took all of their lovely pictures and an old whisky bottle, He was trying hardly to drink his pain away, The result was an idea, The only thought that he could come up with was to burn all of her pictures, A liter of gasoline and few matches made a fine fire, But not big enough to make the pain disappear, “I was not enough” he said, The image of her beautiful face kept running inside his head, “she is just a young innocent and confused” was the last thing he repeated.

The red flames and his opened scares led to his death, He covered himself with what was left from the gasoline and burned himself hoping his ashes will deliver a letter.

“It is a legal crime to kill my depressed soul, I was on the edge and decided to jump into the emotional ocean, Where I found your pretty eyes, You will stay and live, While me, My love, Will burn here and hope that I will continue my long journey to hell, We will never meet, Not because I don’t want to see you anymore, Please don’t get me wrong, But you are a rare angel and when you die your soul will take a place in heaven, We will never be able to talk again. It is a good final decision, Because actually I don’t have enough courage to look you on the eyes and tell you I’m sorry because I was not what you expected me to be, My worthless theory of why you cheated on me.”